How to become Venezuelan

I want to say two things before I continue writing. First, your comments and response to my posts almost bring me to tears. I have no words other than I appreciate it a lot, thank you! Second, there are some comments complaining about not showing the “other side” of Venezuelans and Venezuela. Let me just say that I am very aware of things like crime, corruption and economical crisis, but this is not a newspaper. I have chosen to focus on more positive aspects of the Venezuelan culture because if we always look at the negative sides of things we might just as well give up. I know things are difficult here and is is important to be realistic, but that is not synonym to being negative. There will be more “serious” posts later, but if you want to read about killings, kidnappings and other things I suggest you buy a newspaper.

I am working as a teacher for children in the age of 9-17 years old. This means talking to a lot of cool Venezuelan children and I thought it would be a good idea to ask them what I have to do to become Venezuelan. I had a lot of fun the week we talked about this and together with them as well as my colleagues and friends we came up with a pretty long list. I have a plan to become as Venezuelan as possible while living here and I find this list helpful. Again, I hope I don’t offend anyone.

1)                   Make and eat arepas (for non Venezuelans: Google it).

2)                  Go to a baseball game

3)                  Be careful, no phone on the streets and know who is behind you

4)                  Knowing how to cross the street, it is all about timing

5)                  Flow! Do not have specific plans, be late and don’t worry

6)                  Hang out in the mall (safe and air condition)

7)                  Go to the beach

8)                  Party; drink, sing and dance like there is no tomorrow

9)                  Make fun out of everything

10)                Don’t be easily offended

11)                 Have the Venezuelan spirit, don’t worry be happy

12)                 Enjoy the really loud music everywhere

13)                 Talk to everyone and overshare if you can

14)                  Eat dinner for lunch and lunch for dinner (not used to big lunch)

15)                  Dress sexy, be sexy, especially at the gym

16)                  Have a 1000 candles (when electricity stops working)

17)                  Patience! Learn how to wait in line, in traffic, for people etc.

18)                  Speak Spanish, preferable local Spanish (Na’guara, Sieeeee, Chevere)

19)                  Know somebody who knows somebody (palanca)

20)                  Don’t wait for your turn, make it your turn

21)                  Drink sugar with coffee and everything else with sugar

22)                  Dance your sexiest dance at all times

23)                  Make everything about politics

24)                  Don’t be shy

25)                  See the good things in the bad things

26)                  Don’t give a shit, especially in the traffic

27)                  Make friends everywhere, anytime with anyone

28)                  Sing at all times

29)                  Love food, especially Venezuelan food

30)                  Be happy, things will always work out one way or the other J

If you have more tips how to become Venezuelan let me know. I am trying my best! In comparison there is a very funny page about norwegians on Facebook if anyone is interested:

https://www.facebook.com/LoveNorge

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200 Responses to How to become Venezuelan

  1. mercedesk90 says:

    Hello Martine, I have laughed so hard at all yours posts that have decided to follow you! I am a Venezuelan from Merida living in Washington DC, and I have to say that you are on point with all of it. We know that there is the bad side to Venezuela, but as you indicated it is about making it every day or just give up. I look forward to reading all your experiences. Que disfrutes chama!

  2. It’s always interesting to get to see oneself through the eyes of another, so many things you just take for granted appear in a new light in front of you. And this view of yours is especially interesting to me given that I had long admired the Norwegian culture and standard of living. I have all the intention of not dying without having visited and perhaps even lived a while in Norway (as well as Sweden, Iceland and Finland, a whole Nordic tour).

    If I had to add more items to your list, those would be:

    31) Buy a case of beer every weekend.
    32) Gulp those beers down with a “parrilla” (BBQ) 😛

    • Mercedes Carrillo says:

      Hey David. When you go to Norway please dont miss the chance to write a blog highlighting how crazy and atypical Norwegian are. I would love to see if they would have such a mediocre reaction as we, the venezuelan, have had by validating all negatives features she has published about us and, even worse, by adding new ones.

    • 33) Celebrate with no reasons

      • ravamir says:

        While in college we created a “dia de la chicha” to celebrate at any time.

      • abraham says:

        know we said “una y ya” eventualy, we ended up wasted…

      • Luis D says:

        @abraham haha true! it’d be:
        33) There’s always time for 1 more drink
        Other could be:

        34) Carry as many people as you can in your car. Where 2 fit, 3 does as well, and where 4 do, 5 and so on.

  3. Cindy says:

    I loved your posts, and they are so true, I don´t live right now in Venezuela but it was very nice to read how you can describe them so correctly. I will always believe there aren´t any people as likeable as venezuelans in this crazy world.

  4. Irlanda says:

    I loved it..!! especially this part ” Have the Venezuelan spirit, don’t worry be happy”, And I think if u want to become venezuelan you have to eat too “Caraotas” all along.!!jajajaja.! We are waiting for you.!

  5. Did u already become a venezuelan? 😛 hahahaha i like reading your posts so keep posting! 😀 While reading to your posts i smile and your blog makes me think if i should or not leave my country because if i do i’m gonna miss my ppl! Come to Valencia, if u come my family and me can help u out and take you to “isla larga”!

  6. I couldn’t help myself from crying and laughing at the same time when I read this post, since I’m coming back home for a while in january, it reminded me of the kind of people we are. I’m a Venezuelan, as you might have guessed by now, living in Buenos Aires, and you pretty much got us figured out with this list of yours. It makes me happy that, besides all the bad things going on in my country, that you are having a good time and getting to know our culture. I just hope you be safe and continue this wonderful adventure. Looking forward to read more of you, or even running into you in our streets.

    PD: I think you might add this to your list: we curse a lot and most of the times we initiate a conversation with an insult as “marico” or “güevón”, even if we don’t mean to offend anybody, we just do.

  7. aaah! there is another tip to become a venezuelan “Drive as crazy!”

  8. Osednaca says:

    I’m from Venezuela and i’m realizing with your post’s that i’m not venezuelan.

  9. Monica says:

    Thank you for sharing your experiences from living in my country! I have lived abroad for almost 10 years now and it is interesting to see that the good things are still there. Also, your post shows your good heart and how you can see the beauty in everything. It is the best way to survive in a country that is culturally different to yours. It is also the best way to learn from others. I have learned my lesson but I needed some years to find that out. You found it out right away! I would say that you should add to the list “Stay in contact with your close and extended family, that means: parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, first cousins, second cousins, great grand uncles/aunts, third cousins, fourth cousins, etc…” Because Venezuela was not use to emigration, many family members live close by or in nearby cities so it is very typical to have a small get together with at least 70+ people (all blood related)
    Thank you for sharing with us again! And also thank you for teaching our kids, they would also learn a lot from your experience and your culture!

  10. Ley says:

    Excellent!
    I will let know my Hollander friends how to become a really Venezuelan! I’m sure after reading this they will want to go and live there!
    Naguara, chico… Enjoy your time there!

  11. Gabs says:

    Everything what you write is very accurate. I am Venezuelan currently living in Germany and my friends over there complain about me being late and disorganised (although I think I improved really A LOT and I don’t see myself so much like that) . They have hard times understanding I can’t plan, I hate it. Your blog is very useful to me, I will show them that I am not the only one. 😀

  12. Katiuska says:

    You crack me up! Loving the blog so far… keep up!

    I’m Venezuelan, like many others have posted here, I find it great to see our culture through the eyes of a foreigner. I’m sorry about the bad things, but anyway we just have to carry on and go with the flow.

    Stay safe and enjoy your days in sunny Venezuela 🙂

    PS. what the previous poster says is right, keep in touch with your family, as those gatherings are always crowded

  13. Rebecca says:

    Hello Martine! I just can’t stop sharing your posts and show them to everyone. I moved out of the country a few months ago, everything you say makes me homesick i love being a Venezuelan (Maracucha)! Thank you for this it’s nice to see the perspective of someone from a complety different country, i love the way you focus on the good things that my country have it’s great to read good things about my country for a change! If you ever go to Maracaibo “La tierra del sol amada” again my place it’s totally avaliable. Keep them coming! Another things to become a Venezuelan: You have to learn that you’ll always be melting from the heat and you have to improve your inmune system so you won’t get sick changing tempertures all the time living hell outside/freaking cool inside.

  14. Thais says:

    Hi, it’s so cool that you are sharing this. I’m a Venezuelan living in Australia and I really miss the people in my country. Thanks for sharing your experience 🙂 makes me so happy to read this blog.

  15. I think you’ve been here (in Barquisimeto) for a while now, but it’s today I read your blog thanks to some friends sharing it, I read it upside down and it’s amazing how your perspective has changed from day 1 (arriving in Caracas, oh God, I know how ugly it can feel) to now where you seem to be really adapted and understanding our day to day lives (One could even write a book about it).

    This is just to welcome you, I live in Barquisimeto as well. I’m glad you did this (coming here and teaching) but also sharing it online, cause it’d be really nice if more people will feel adventurous enough to come and do the same thing.

    I’ve been overseas, even lived out of the country for a while, and I understand how cultural exchange can improve someone’s life by opening their perspectives on all kinds of issues.

    One more time, welcome, hope you feel this town is your home after all, and if you ever wanna meet me and some friends I’m up to!

  16. Oriana says:

    I love your posts so much! They make me laugh and smile a lot, I’ll be cheking this blod regularly hahaha. When you put it all together we venezuelans seem to be like hobbits hahaha lazy, happy, party people. Keep it up 🙂

  17. Venezolano says:

    Hola, ya que escribes sobre “how to become venezuelan” comento en español. Verdaderamente ingenioso tu escrito, genera risas y es muy simpático, te felicito por lo bien que escribes. A propósito de las cosas raras que has visto, como eso del cereno (lo correcto es sereno), me pregunto si no habrás visto también un extraño rito en el que durante un cortejo fúnebre los familiares detienen el tráfico, colocan el ataúd en plena vía pública, bailan alrededor de él, beben licor y disparan al aire. Todo ello a plena luz del día y en presencia policial!

  18. Esto estuvo genial: “if you want to read about killings, kidnappings and other things I suggest you buy a newspaper.”

    • maria c says:

      Ya no es necesario abrir el periódico, diariamente tu vecino, tu primo, tu amigo, o tu hermano te contara que a fulanito de tal (a quien seguramente conoces a si sea de vista) le paso. Pero definitivamente me encanta esta muchacha que esta de paso por aquí y tiene esta visión tan positiva y verdaderamente esta disfrutando del país.

  19. Caroline says:

    Came across this blog randomly on Facebook from friends who have been sharing it.
    I’m impressed how quickly you’ve been able to summarise Venezuelan people. As an ex-pat from Venezuela, based in the UK, and coming from a half Venezuelan-half British family I can relate very easily to how the European and South American worlds clash and compliment each other. Your articles made me laugh and are worth sharing. I hope you continue having a blast in Barquisimeto ( I think you’re based there?). You’re very brave to have decided to take the leap from Norway to Venezuela! And finally, keep on having fun but always be on your guard it’s a lovely country with sweet people but very dangerous nonetheless! I must admit I do like living in the organised British society but sometimes I DO miss that chaotic, crazy and unexpected Venezuelan life – specially the parties, they’re the best! Best wishes, from a fellow reader.

  20. Irene R. says:

    There are my tips for you:

    – Go shoping to Farmatodo. You don’t even need to buy medicines, it litreally has “todo”.
    – Eat hallacas and pan de jamón every December. (Christmas food)
    – Eat hallacas again in July!!!!!!
    – Go to the movies on Mondays. 50% discount.
    – Go to an “arepera” at 4 am after a party.
    – Listen to gaitas music every Christmas. And everyday if you go to Maracaibo.
    – Go to the bathroom with all your girlfriends. Not because it’s dangerous to go alone but because it’s a natural thing to do. Why? No idea.
    – When you understand Venezuelan politics and you feel more comfortable either with one or the other way of thinking, don’t pick a side. It’ll be easier to handle. This is not exactly something that will make you a Venezuelan but i think it’ll make a better Venezuelan.
    – Read “EL Chigüire Bipolar”.

    I literally spent like an hour of my life thinking of every single thing a Venezuelan would do to tell you hahaha. Hope they are helpful (:

    @BusinessIrene

  21. marycruzsj says:

    That is a very Venezuelan thing you´re doing focussing on the positive stuff, your writings are very thoughtful, i check your blog everyday please keep writing 😀

  22. Sofía López says:

    Buy sweater that your are never gonna wear. jaja
    If you are male: say cheesy pick up lines to the girls. If you are female: walk away like you are not listening.

  23. Damian says:

    I’m so glad you started this post by explaining the whole “lets talk about how crappy Venezuela is” coz there are many of us who just love focusing on the bad things specially those who live abroad. So from one (Venezuelan) expat to another, i commend you for the way you write and your positive attitude. Keep up the good work and your very enjoyable lines.

  24. Leonardo Lezama says:

    Thanks Martine! So cool the way you express your impressions. I have lived in Finland for many years but I have to admit that the Venezuelan spirit in us never change!!! Likke til! Vi snakkes!

  25. Hahahaha I can’t stop laughing when I read all your posts!!! I like how you describe us… I think that another experience that you need to live here in Venezuela is traveling by the “Metro” in Caracas and going to the “Ávila”, too. Another tip about how to become Venezuelan could be saying “pana” to everyone you know hahaha. Keep posting, girl! I really enjoy everything you write here 🙂 I’m from Edo. Vargas, which is near to Caracas.

  26. Siree says:

    Chama..! I LOL so muuuuuuch with this ..! awesome!!

  27. dorex89 says:

    First of all, thank you for focusing on the positive, that’s an example a lot of Venezuelans should follow. And on the other hand, lol, I’m following you too, your post crack me up xD!

    Other tips on being Venezuelan:

    -While crossing the streets, beware of and insult everyone that rides a motorbyke.
    -Be afraid of the sereno xD.

    Kisses, hope to read you again soon!

  28. – Get accustomed to have people showing up at your house without notice< Venezuelans loves to show up at people's house without prior notice
    – Be the last one leaving a party, specially if it is a good one
    – Learn some jokes to share at someone's funeral service
    – Have solidarity with your friends and your friend's friends

    my 2 cents as a Venezuelan

  29. HAECKEL7 says:

    JAJAJAAA DEL SERENO! JAJAJAA

  30. HAECKEL7 says:

    _APRENDE CHISTES DE “ASI ME DECIAS ANOCHE”

  31. Maye says:

    Helloo!! First of all i loveeeedd your posts!! I was lying in bed laughing so loud i woke up my roomate!!!
    The second thing, thank you so much for being as positi e and honest! We need a lot of that!
    ….so i’ve lives in venezuela my whole life and this year im studying abroad, in europe, so when i read this i started remembering all the times my european classmates told me things like im too relaxed or happy or loud!!!
    Im so proud of our people and so happy that others can appreciate it as much as we do!!!

    Other tips for becoming venezuelan:
    Never say no to a beach day or weekend!!! And never leave the ice and beers!! 😀

  32. claudia says:

    haha I liked it …

  33. Luisa Leal says:

    This is excellent! > Some tips for being venezuelan:

    Tips for being venezuelan:
    1)If you are in Maracaibo, go to “PIPO´S” and eat tequeños, pastelitos, papitas y mandocas with TARTARA sauce 🙂

    2) After a long walk in the downtown of Maracaibo, have one “Cepilla´o” of tropical fruits!

    3) If you are taking a public transportation, take the “famous” carritos, you only have so say “CORTO” (for a short ride) or “LARGO” (for a long ride)

    4) At December 31th, at new year´s eve, when its 12 o´clock take a ride with one bagage, (That means good luck and that you are going to travel next year)

    LOVE OR LOVE, VENEZUELA Needs people with LOVE! “Venezuela, The beauty of imperfections”

    • Eva Carolina says:

      I love this one “Venezuela, The beauty of imperfections”

      (31) Don’t forget wherever you are in Venezuela always you can have a reason to party! Lol…!

  34. J Vivas says:

    Bailar Tambor ! (Dance the drums) You have to know how to this in order to become a venezolano rencauchado 😉

  35. marcoslhc says:

    Well, I guess this is “positive” when you are 9 to 17 years old.

  36. Zero20 says:

    To be completely honest, I think you just listed almost everything wrong with us Venezuelans, we are just a bunch of incosiderate assholes, who like to party all the time and not think of our future or anyone else’s future… The day we can list other things, it will be the day I don’t hate living here.

  37. “… if you want to read about killings, kidnappings and other things I suggest you buy a newspaper.” Nice said.

  38. Carlos W says:

    Don’t you ever stop writting, this is actuallly the first Blog I’m following and reading.

  39. Bienvenida chica… y no agarres sereno, está buenísimo

  40. Oriana J says:

    JAJAJAJAJA!! 19… So true

  41. CarlosCCS says:

    “… if you want to read about killings, kidnappings and other things I suggest you buy a newspaper.” I could not agree more.

    Dear Martine, I’ve just read all of your posts after seeing them gone viral on my Facebook newsfeed and I have SO much to comment about, so I’ll try to keep this short (it’s my thoughts on all FOUR entries in ONE single comment!).

    In these times when we’re constantly hearing how the future doesn’t look very promising in our country (regardless of one’s political beliefs) it is absolutely unvaluable to have someone make us remember -or maybe even get to know for the first time- all the things (good and bad) that make us unique, all the things we usually take for granted but that can only be found in this small portion of land, the only place we will ever be able to call “home”. I must admit I am constantly annoyed by more than half the things you describe as “typical Venezuelan”. I HATE traffic being so chaotic, HATE people being so relaxed even about the most serious issues, and, above all things, HATE the general anarchy and law-breaking behavior of society here. So yeah, you could say that makes me feel like a foreigner in my own country. But only after giving your blog a ten-minute read I swear I got on this “oh-fuck-it-all-I-love-my-country” mood. What can be more Venezuelan than that?? Not giving a shit about problems and just seeing the good stuff?! See? Thank you for making me feel closer to my country, even for a moment. You’re right. It’s far better to stay positive. I’m guessing just now that’s where the hole “happiest country in the world” comes from.

    I truly admire your effort to become a real Venezuelan, as there’s no such thing as a definition of “venezolanidad”. The concept of being Venezuelan is not very precise, as many things here, but come on… you didn’t fly your ass off to get here and find just more Europe-ness. That would’ve been SO boring. Here you go my personal tips, though I know I’m missing lots of useful stuff I just can’t think of right now:

    – Find yourself a “sillita de cabilla” (your Venezuelan friends will know what I’m talking about), take it out to the porch of a house (the sidewalk works too) and sit down. Yes, sit down. Do nothing else but sit down and watch life pass by.
    – Please open your own bottles of beer… WITHOUT an opener. Explore the various options available here such as doorjambs, rings (placed on your finger) and the beer box itself, just to mention a few.
    – Do NOT be OK with drinking a beer that’s anything above freezing point. Only in Europe is it commonly accepted to have warm -“cold” to you- beer. You heretics!
    – Keep in mind Venezuelan politeness summarized in three common expressions: “Buenas”, “Un placer”, “A la orden”. You can never go wrong using those.
    – Don’t speak Spanish, speak Venezuelan. Think Venezuelan, feel Venezuelan, swear Venezuelan. Once you’ve mastered that, words will just flow naturally. Looks like it won’t be too hard for you.
    – Give yourself a chance to get to know and experience Caracas. I swear you won’t regret it. I will be moving to Germany in March, and starting in February I will be working on a very simple but meaningful “farewell” photography project focused on the city, as it is my hometown. You’re welcome to join in.

    I apologize for the ridiculously long post, hope it brings you closer to becoming one of us.

    A la orden para lo que salga aquí en CCS.

    Cheers!

    P.S. You definitely made the best choice ever by coming here. No doubts, no regrets. You’re all in now.

  42. María Tovar says:

    Welcome to our Venezuelan little world!!! I just think that your description about our culture is absolutely right, even when sometimes it hurts to assume that we already are used to live in the chaos 😦 If you want to become Venezuelan, my best advice would be that you should enjoy and learn how to contemplate the nature. I’m from Maracay, a small city near to Caracas (it’s about 2 hours by car from the capital), and everytime I want to scape from all the bad things you have experienced, which happen to us in our daily life, I just watch the wonderful sunsets we have here (no matter where I am and even when I’m trapped in my car on a queue), I think the nature is one of the things we feel more proud about our country. I haven’t been in Norway but I have some friends in Sweden and I had the chance to go there and also to received my Swedish friends here… They thought I was paranoid about their safety here but I always say to them that Venezuelan people are survivors and I’m sure you will learn how to survive here very soon if you have a flexible mind and you have the right people around you to get some help. I wish you the best on your stay, don´t miss Choroní beaches and of course let me know if you need some information about Maracay 😉

  43. keilat52 says:

    Hey!. You need to keep on posting ur thoughts and experiences in my country. I have laughed so hard lol. I really love your spirit and patience with our culture and chaotic society, because it helps you understand and enjoy your time here. God bless u!.

  44. Carlos Villasmil says:

    Excellent post. Now I’m feeling even more proud of being Venezuelan. I live in The Netherland and I was reading this post as well as another that you wrote previously with my family here and we feel so connected to what you wrote about ourselves and how to become one of us. sometimes we forget of who we are and how we are. All the features you describe about our culture well use can make Venezuela one of the greatest countries in the world.

  45. Gio says:

    Shopping in farmatodo is more like an obsession than a need, you go inside and always buy something, a can of soda or a single nail polish.

    I love your blog, my mom and I have been laughing a lot with all your experiences in this crazy country that we’re living. One of my favourite parts is that you blame the heat for almost everything, that’s so funny. Keep sharing and I keep loving it.

  46. aristidescc says:

    Hi Martine! As most of my venezuelan fellows have said, your blog is amazing and you have helped us a lot with making us remind why Venezuela is so great, even when our situation or expectations are not good. But you completely got it, it’s all about the people.

    Me and my family are from Barquisimeto, and have kept living here, not because we can’t really go to a different country, but because of the people (which is way more binding when talking about family and friends) and this country definitely needs more people who loves it and is wanting to make it a better place to live.

    It’s pretty amazing to get a tiny hold of the point of view of a foreigner, especially living here in Barquisimeto, and way much better when you made the decision of enjoying, liking and having fun while in here. As you may have noticed, there is a good deal of venezuelans who left Venezuela or wanting to (or being afraid of needing to, like me) leave Venezuela, but it has actually been like that because we have forgotten that Venezuela is not a government or a state, but its people, and while you have pinned out a good deal of our not-so-good characteristics, we have a pretty good deal of good things which we forgot during last years, and I think it’s more than just last 15 years.

    Thanks for helping me and others to recharge (even if just a little) our batteries back with love for our country and our people. I wish you the best while in my country and my city, and let me know if there’s anything I can help you with, even if just needing some orientation about moving in Barquisimeto!

    https://www.facebook.com/aristides.castillo

  47. kari says:

    Hi Martine, very proud of yourself, proud because after 3 years living in australia (other culture), 3 years without hugs and kisses, 3 years without a party (dance,dance,dance) 3 years without my family and friends, I just become a cold person to adapt myself to this place and survive.
    Just want to thank you because of you I find my venezuelan spirit again. Thanks for this. Please keep writting. I need to refresh my spirit and definitely the way to do it is by never forget my country, my people, my chaos and love!!!
    As you said “Venezuelan are soo friendly”, that hope to meet you one day when I visit Venezuela again. So, from right now (even if I do not know when I will go to Venezuela) you are more than welcome to enjoy me in a Welcome party hehehe.

    Another tips to become Venezuelan: drink cerveza POLAR, and the whisky with ice but “must use your finger to shake it”

    Big kisses and hugs.
    With true Venezuelan Love, Kari.

  48. luis orozco says:

    Very greatfull and honor for your post. You still have to learn un verguero. Thanks for show a good part of venezuela. Says a venezolano who live in Venezuela. Keep going a strong hug and kisses

  49. This was soooo funny, jajajajajaja.

  50. miguel says:

    wao this is a really cool reality, thanks for this words.

  51. I’m not a good Venezuelan, I don’t do any of those things but there are true things… 😦 maybe that’s the reason I live overseas.

  52. Roberto says:

    Love it, I’m glad you have such a great impression of Venezuelans…

    for your list to become a Venezuela

    “be part of “hallacas” (google it) production line, and if possible, keep the tradition alive…

  53. Dear Martine! We don’t know each other, but I’m a Venezuelan, and after reading your wonderful socially keen and accurate blog, I feel we have been a friends forever..! Thank you for the laughs, you’re a fantastic social researcher and you should make a point of compiling all your experiences in a book…it’d be very successful. You’re a citizen of the world and really live up to the saying “When in Rome do as the Romans”…the best way to life life, while taking the best and the worst from each culture to your own advancement and share it with the world..! I’m currently living in Spain and the culture here is closer to ours there than yours in Norway, nonetheless I do miss many of the things you mention makes a Venezuelan a Venezuelan…but the chaos and lack of punctuality I do not miss, feeling a bit better in an “more organized” society, specially in northern Spain…! I’d love to hear from you about how do you think a person with our character could live and make a difference in Norway, since it’s a country I have some interest in exploring to live a few years…I’m really looking forward hearing from you! Enjoy Guarolandia, meanwhile and keep on writing great posts! Joe

  54. Alexandra says:

    First of all Maracaibo is not so bad with the heat and stuff… I mean there are worst places like Maturin! And second of all really proud of you for trying to understand us! Also you are not a Venezuelan until you try hallacas. Good luck babe!

  55. Alejandra GT says:

    Hello there! I’ve got a lot of laugh (till tears) reading your Venezuelan-Guaro experience. It´s right, we are a mess, we have made our country a mess..But we’ve learned to live with it, dealing the best we can with the little we have. I am an English teacher living in Valencia, a city near Barquisimeto. If there’s any chance you might come this way, feel free to contact me!! profealegt@gmail.com (By the way, girls start their chat by telling each other “mareeca!” (marica) so do not feel embarrassed or offended if you hear that!!

  56. Francisco says:

    Hola! Que bueno que te encante este país. Si vienes a Valencia escríbeme y buscamos una Rumba!!! hsabatino1@gmail.com

  57. iru says:

    Te leo y después de reir con todo lo que me identifico, pienso: ” viviendo en Alemania dejare algún día de ser venezolana?” y se me arruga el corazón!…. Seguiré tus mandamientos para mantenerme venezolana! 🙂 keep writing!!

  58. García says:

    I’ve viewed a lot lot lot lot of interpretations about the Venezuelan people (counting sociological interpretations of the contemporany venezuelan people) but certainly yours was the most successful. It’s amazing how easy is the description of the Venezuelan people through some other country. As you know, actually it’s a polarized country in which the Venezuelan to give his opinion, also tend to be polarized on this.
    So, your feedback is important for me and for many Venezuelans who are not aware of it, haha​​ singular attitude. For me you was opening the doors to a hard investigation that I’m doing! Thanks!

    and eat your arepa!

  59. adriale says:

    #18 LOL!
    I figure that you’re already saying ‘Naguará’ like an authentic guara 😀

  60. I really really enjoyed reading your blog!
    I laughed so much, and I really love the view you have of us, though everything is not good but it’s the truth.
    I’m from Barquisimeto and I really hope you’ll be here in January 14th to see La Divina Pastora, it’s an amazing experience to live. I’ve been going my whole life, sadly I won’t be here this year to see it because I live in the United States but if in this few days you come while I’m still here I would love to help you if you need anything.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it’s a nice perspective of seeing ourselves.
    Dios te bendiga.
    Byeeee.

  61. Adriana Furiati says:

    Hi Martina! Remember me from Las Colinas? I’ve enjoyed so much your post!! The funny thing is that I saw it on Facebook because my cousin shared it! An saw it also in one of my friends that also went to Las Colinas in Barquisimeto! I’ts so amazing! Don’t you think?? Well…hope your Christmas were very Merry!!!! See you back in Barquisimeto on January, and you’ll see another big tradition as is La procesión de la Divina Pastora! Hugs and kisses!!! Adriana Furiati

  62. Know all the country as much as you can before you leave to yours. Go to Los Roques, La Gran Sabana, los Llanos, el Delta del Orinoco, Los Andes, Mochima, Margarita, Coche, etc…..Try all the venezuelan food and fruits, learn how to dance joropo, salsa and tambores. Meanwhile you will know venezuelans as they really are, After that, look for an emty beach and enjoy it!!!!!!

  63. Orso says:

    Great! 🙂 I still have TO DO list considering yours 😀

  64. FABIANA says:

    I think you are creating a kind of miracle in many venezuelans because you have made remember our essence, after we had lived the last years a series of changing in our way of living perhaps we forgot who we are and the very good things we have…THANK YOU I am sure i needed this blog….

  65. Bea says:

    I’m a Venezuelan in NY and you don’t imagine how beautiful is read your blog, we are so special people is true, but we also are very adaptable but the essence is the same, many people can think that we are crazy because we laugh all the time but we have so many problems that is better laugh than cry. Be careful all the time there please. Thank you so much for see and put the best of Venezuela out. My country is a big mess and sometimes difficult to digest even for Venezuelans but so glad you are enjoying the experience…another small advice be careful with men, they are very romantic and they know how to impress a girl (specially exotic foreigners) but they could be also a bit womanizer 😉 by the way you should go to east side of the country around carupano, Mochima, La Cueva del Guacharo, Caripe etc is so beautiful there! and try the food!!! enjoy!!! the people there speak so fast that even for another Venezuelan is hard to understand lol so funny!! but my dad’s family is from that area and in my experience are the most happy people of Venezuela! 😀

  66. Marbri says:

    I just read all the posts and I couldn’t stop laughing! OH MY GOD! I don’t think anyone can describe us better than you did here. all you said on your posts are so true!

    I’m glad you enjoy living in this crazy country and i think you are VERY adventurous by deciding to come here haha. I don’t know if you already went or not, but i recommend you to go to La Gran Sabana, you need to go there, It is a beautiful and magical place and I’m sure you will enjoy it.

    thank you for writing all this, it made laugh A LOT

    xx

  67. Maria Carmela says:

    As a venezuelan citizen I must say you have completely nailed it. I spent many years living abroad and being back (reluctantly) and re-discovering my country and my people has been such a blessing and a (surprisingly) gratifying experience. Reading your posts certainly made me fall in love with this Mundo Loco all over again! Good luck in your journey, it takes courage and it takes love, but it will pay off wonderfully. Just keep your mind, your heart (and your eyes) open!

  68. Gaudy says:

    Wow Martine! This is really going viral.

    A little late, but welcome to Venezuela. I read all your post and some comments and I must say that sometimes we get sick and tired about the rule-breaking attitude, the traffic and the chaos, but I personally get into a bubble and don’t pay attention to that.
    I love that you want to enjoy all the good stuff and situations of my country. And how paradoxical can it be that many young people here (like me) wants to grab their bags and discover other cultures (maybe more organized ones) and find better opportunities for working or living.

    Anyway, you don’t really know Venezuela, until you spend a couple of days in Caracas with a real expert on where to go, where to eat, what to see, etc. Hope you had enjoy christmas, and I wish you an extremely fun and happy new year here.

    Good luck and thanks for showing your vision of our culture!

    My twitter if you need something in Caracas: @gaudy8

  69. Sofia says:

    Thank you so much for this blog! I just found it on fb today and I’m totally in love with it! I’m living in Barcelona and I really didn’t miss anything from Venezuela, except for my family (as you can see, family is very important for us and we’re always together) and you made me miss things I never thought I would!! You made me realize that we do see the good in everything and that we are always late for everything (that’s not so funny for people in Spain who have to wait for me all the time). But the thing I love most about your blog, is that you are making other people appreciate our country, venezuelans or not… It’s not just me… Thank you!

  70. Salome Gene says:

    I find your blog very entertaining, you’ve captured the essence of Venezuela. I’m from Barquisimeto and you’ve made me feel again the beauty of being Venezuelan. I think you should not leave without trying “Cachapa, Chicha and Las Catalinas”

  71. max says:

    Don’t forget give a nice nickname to a friend… As you said, we don’t get offended too easy. Also, pick your team for the soccer world cup. our vinotinto is not going but we still enjoy it… And no matter who wins, we always celebrate.

  72. Katherine Mendoza says:

    Que bello!, llore y me reí demasiado con todo, porque todo es verdad! AMO VENEZUELA!.

  73. jajaja I enjoy your posts, i am from Maracay, so if you have to go to any Aragua’s beach (Cuyagua, Cata, Choroni, etc) just let me know. I would add some tips like:

    – Give a Nickname to a friend, and if he has a different culture it’s your best chance. (Chino, Portu, Arabito, etc).
    – The best place to meet people is eating in any place… if you have been invited to a BBQ, you are going to drink a lot.
    – seeking for any reason to celebrate, if your team is not in the list, choose another one xD.
    – You must have any stories because the venezuelans like to talk a lot, and telling jokes or sarcastics comments xD.

    If you have any questions or need any help, don’t doubt to contact me at my facebook page facebook.com/jamensonalvarez.

    Bye, have a nice day.

  74. Greetings from Maracaibo, despite everything people have spoken to you about us, whenever you’ll come to visit and enjoy our CRAZY city, you’d love it more than the rest of our country; and yes, our “Maracuchos” ego is huge jajajaja, so come around and enjoy some great Tumbarranchos with a cold Coca-Cola ;), and of course the best parties ever \o/

  75. Hey there, I came across your blog entries and I liked them so much. It’s so very true, everything that you talk about. I’m Venezuelan and I couldn’t agree more with your perceptions of our people. You make it seem like it’s so funny, and it is, but I guess that for us, sometimes we get tired of how everything is messed up but at the end of the day we agree with the way we’re living (good and bad things).

    I don’t want to keep talking, ’cause soon it’ll start being nonsense, but I wanted to thank you for your words as they reminded me of how cool my country.. I’d love to have an opportunity like yours so I’d be able to appreciate different cultures but at the same time remember how ‘mine’ my own is.

  76. Nizay says:

    Epa Martine, 3 more to add to your list:

    31- BENDICION? hehehe!! the fist thing and the last thing we say to family members and even to other people who, somehow become family.

    32- Take the Venezuelan Flag EVERYWHERE and waived it in football games even though we are not playing, it can be a game, for example japan vs nigeria, and u will see the flag in between the crowds, the biggest one by the way. p.s and we have never been qualified for the world cup, imagine if we do 🙂

    33-We always put everything “A LA ORDEN” from a nice pants we are wearing to our car, house, practically ANYTHING 🙂

  77. Luis Arturo Castillo says:

    Well well. ..where should I begin?. It really disturbs me the lack of sensibility some people have in regards to what it means to be ‘a Venezuelan’. It is for my deepest regret to say in a very blunt way that the biggest proof of “actually the biggest problem of Venezuela is that is full of Venezuelans” is that sense of pride taken from those statements mentioned specifically in items 5, 9, 11, 19, 20, 26 and 30.
    You really have to be shameless if you found that description of ourselves as something nice to laugh about!. It is exactly by that sort of attitudes that we (and I hate to have to use the plural here) are the sole responsibles of transforming that Country in the huge piece of crap that has become over the last few decades. Honestly there is not a single excuse for that whatsoever!. But unfortunately as long as we keep feeding our idiosyncrasy with such immature, laid back, and idiotic ways of behaving the ‘venezuelan collective sense’ will never be something to be proud of.
    Hopefully each one of us can take some time to reflect upon those points mentioned above and start implementing the correct course of action to amend those huge flaws ‘we’ have. There is absolutely nothing to feel proud of about that!.

    • Vil says:

      Couldn’t agree more with you, most of these caracteristics is what make me ashamed of being venezuelan. They are really bad things to do and are a example of bad, really bad citizenship, lack of common sense, respect for the other, the laws, society and other’s people rights and personal space. I really hope venezuelan people outside the frontiers, are not behaving like this constantly, and if they are, they’re an aweful example from the country. It would be shamefull to be labeled as such a bad manners person. It’s not something to be proud about.

    • Visionaire says:

      I kept reading from the top to be sure I was not the only one in disagreement with the majority of comments. We may not share many of the opinions about being a Venezuelan (maybe we have been abroad for too long). But you are 10000000% correct. While people keep laughing, eating Arepas and going to the Baseball game, or just thinking when their next travel is, the Country keeps falling apart. Nationalism cannot and should not be understood as just being worried about Cadivi and the dollars to travel or whether or not a relative would still have the student dollar to be able to stay abroad and never go back to Venezuela. Termino mi nota como decia DiCaprio en el Titanic ” I am the king of the world” (BTW I still miss the Cachitos de Jamon)

    • Magda says:

      I was born and raised in Venezuela and I don’t feel identified with any of the above, I’m not loud, I hate loud music specially at 4:00 a,m, any given day of the week, I respect people’s privacy… honestly, what you describe in your blog is what this poor country has become, not the one I knew, people peeing in the middle of the freeway, playing Vallenato so loud your windows shake, dancing coffins in the street…. that’s not us, that’s some imported chusma, nothing to be proud of. You know some of us work actually and need to get some sleep at night but we have to endure “happy people drinking beer and making a BBQ till dawn”, or “cheerful lads” playing the loudest music on the sidewalk just under your room just because. Some of us are law abiding citizen that stop on red lights and have to cope with AH honking horns behind urging us to run the red light. Some of us say good morning and wait for our turn every where we go… I could go on forever but you’ll never get it

    • anónimo says:

      There are things that we can’t be proud of about ourselves, but that doesn’t make them less truthful. So, people getting offended and making drama, should get off of their high horse and realize that this is a caracterization base on personal experience and not a celebration of the bad. To accept and deal with the reality of our flaws, as much as our virtues, is part of what can “heal” our society; that is more mature than to despise our whole culture. Calling it a “huge piece of crap” doesn’t make people look better than others: it does quite the opposite, actualy. Not everybody is like the description in this blog -obviously and thankfully- and many things mentioned in it are the kind of things that make it hard to live here, and could make it feel like hell every now and then, but there is enough of it in our culture to become a stereotype, so denial won’t get anyone very far. And there is a good side to everything, even some of our flaws. The person making this blog is trying to focus on it -it seems- instead of freaking out. A foreing person trying to understand without being judgemental. Something to Learn from. The good and the bad are both part of being Venezuelan. If someone thinks there is something wrong about it, that person will have to assume and embrace the facts in order to transform what needs to be changed. Criticizing, and yet, doing nothing to improve, all while believing that trash-talking our own country gives us status, is one of our flaws. So here we are…

  78. Rafaela says:

    A very very very important thing… Dealing with the motorcycles or motorizados. Specially if you live in Caracas as I did, make friend of them, NEVER the opposite haha. Im Venezuelan living in Denmark right know! Hope you love Venezuela as I did!

  79. Benjamín Carnevali says:

    Most noticeable Venezuelan characteristic, you must stir your drink after it’s been served/poured with the finger, just a little stir
    You must have noticed this at every bar

  80. Zax says:

    34) Unexpectedly crash by a friend’s place at dinner time…. you’ll be invited to eat, drink and spend the night if it gets late… it reminds me that here in Germany I have to make an appointment with at least one week in advance to visit (just a short visit) a friend

    35) go as “arrocera” to a party you haven’t been invited … you’ll end up making lots of friends (including the party’s owners) – can’t even imagine a similar situation in Germany 🙂

  81. chelena50 says:

    jamás habia leido algo tan hermoso.gracias y bienvenida otra norueguara.
    saludos.
    ingeniera57@gmail.com
    espero tu correo

  82. Daphne says:

    Hello,

    It is not what you do that makes you feel ” a part of” something, it is an inner quality to be discovered.I am from the US and moved to Venezuela during the late 60’s where I lived until 2001..As i married into a very Criollo family, it was my privilege to have the opportunity of becoming ” parte de”.

    Something else you should to remember is that just like in any other country, there are many different cultures within the country and one has to learn to see the differences.Some cultures however go deeper than other.

    Being sexy, or late to a party,or making arepas is not it. What IS “it” ,resides in the soul.I suggest you start with folk music,Folk music is a window on the soul.But it will be the subtle feeling of living
    ” out of time” that will eventually end your search.

    Still I commend your efforts in this endeavor.

    However as for the negative…it is necessary to face, because it is precisely the negative that will some day take away what is beloved and real and counteract your efforts to find a new reality.

    Unfortunately many of the newer generation are forgetting their own idiosyncrasies.

  83. Arlanda says:

    Hei Martine,
    Jeg er ei kvinne fra Venezuela som bor i Norge. Jeg lærer norsk så jeg skal prøve min beste anstrengelsen 😉 Det er kjempe spennende å lese hva du skriver om landet mitt… med gode og dårlige ting. Jeg savner mange ting…for eksempel folket, å le om ingen ting, kyssene og klemmene, familien, jusene, friske frukter… men jeg trives godt her i Norge… To forskjelle land… fra nord til sør…

    Jeg er fra Mérida, den kaldest byen i Venezuela (hehehe du vet KALDEST 😉 og noe at vi sier etter å ha mat er: Dios le pague! Det betyr noe som “Takk for maten” her i Norge. Ord for ord betyr det: Gud skal betale deg!

    Prøv jusene… guanábana er min favoritt!!! Hvis du besøker Mérida, kan du komme hos familiene våre… Vi klatrer, gjør canyoning og andre ting…

    Lykke til i Venezuela… Vær forsiktig! og prøv jusene… guanábana er min favoritt!!!

    Stor klem fra en Venezuelansk familie i Nord-Norge!!!!!

  84. Gustavo says:

    Muchas gracias, leí tus dos post, me sentí tan identificado que lo único que puedo hacer es darte un gran agrazo y varios Besos, he invitarte a bailar cualquier día, mientras hacemos un sancocho en la playa y nos tomamos unas cervezas bien frías (jajajajajajajaja) …Gracias querida venezolana hija adoptiva de la patria mía.

  85. Gaby says:

    awesome blog!! congrats! Welcome to my beautiful Barquisimeto, since you are living here.. Here are the things I miss the most about my country and my city:

    -Eat Pepitos after whatever you do at 3-4am
    -If you missed the pepitos eat empanadas at 7-8am
    -Go to the cardenalito park and watch the best sunset in Venezuela
    – Eat white cheese, I have family in CCs, Margarita, Valencia (a lot of cities) and they all say our cheese for some reason is the best one, especially goat cheese.
    – when you like someone, as a friend, as a person, tell them, tell them you love them, hug them.
    – If you meet a friend’s cousin, its Okay to call him/her cousin too, your family is my family
    – If you are in a friend’s house, for the 3th or 4th time.. it is also your home, go to the kitchen and take his/her food like its yours, or please yourself with a glass of water, or whatever you want. Don’t be shy!
    -You have to play domino, caida or truco, and you have to use the big words everytime you lose
    -Use the word “coño” for everything, like “coño I love that movie”
    -Go to a party that a friend of a friend invited you, go to a party where you don’t know who the host is. (we call this “irse de arrocero”)

    You have travel as much as you can, my country is wonderful, Enjoy your time here!! and remember even though you are in Venezuela, you will find a lot of differents accents, words, expressions, heavy humor and personalities, so don’t freak out about your Venezuelan-spanish, right now you are just learning “guaro”-spanish

    • Kepler says:

      Gaby,
      I think the co*o word is used in coastal Venezuela and most of the East and some central parts but it is definitely not used that much in the Andean region. They really think we people from the Coast speak too “rough”.

      So: I would advise her not to use swear words that often in the Andes (in general one has to be much more careful with their use when one is speaking a foreign language). Also they use much more Usted than we do.

      The sié and na guará are specially from Guaroland, as you say. And yet they also definitely part of our speech in Valencia and I have heard them used also up to Maracay, as I said on my first comment. All in all, it shows her power to integrate and every Venezuelan Spanish is in reality sprinkled with a bit of a particular region.

      Regards

  86. restonjd says:

    Well i can’t wait for your next post, i’m from Maracaibo, it’s interesting reading you about your adventure. I’m following you now with wordpress 😀 Happy new Year!

  87. Pedro B says:

    Hey I just saw your post and reading all the stuff that you put I almost cry!!! Its amazing the things that you describe and its completely true all.. I’ve been living in Ireland for one year and a half and I didn’t realize how much I miss my country. Thanks for have a good perspective about my country and like you said be happy and enjoy. Happy Christmas to you and good post. I hope to keep in touch.

    P.S: another tip for being venezuelan is go to a nightclub and at more less 5 go to eat some hot dogs or hamburger in “calle el hambre” every city have one and I know for sure you will love it.

  88. arkklein says:

    Martine,

    I left Venezuela, for good, 42 years ago. I laughed all the way through your
    wonderful writing. I have forgotten so much about life in Venezuela.
    So many behaviors haven’t changed in almost a half century! I am surprised.
    Your writing is delightful, with a sharp observant eye. Be safe and continue
    to enjoy your stay and regaling us with the essence of Venezuelan life and
    culture.

  89. Areanna says:

    Hello! loved your post..
    My tip for you would be “Pide la bendición (Ción)”. Ask for blessing to your parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents or almost anyone whose older than you and you care for or love. It does not mean they are God and can bless you, it’s more like..they pray for your good.

  90. Kepler says:

    Hey, Martine.

    It is great you keep a positive attitude. Enjoy it. As almost everyone has told you: be careful and never too blåøyd.

    Now, as a Valenciano I have to say: “Sieee” and “‘na guará” are not used as often everywhere in Venezuela. The highest ‘Na guará concentration on the World can be found in the Tocuyo-Barquisimeto Na-Guará Belt, right where you are. From there it radiates probably in the same way as the initial Spanish settlements went: towards the West-South and North-East. We in Valencia use it less than the “guaros” (only 10 to 50 times a day), those in Maracay even less and the further East you go, the less you will hear it. All in all, Venezuelans, like Norwegians, have very distinctive regions and accents. Maracucho might not be as different as Nynorsk from Bokmål but almost.
    Our love for cachapas united us all.

    One of the good and terrible things about Venezuela is the extreme tendency for the hic et nunc. This makes us forget wrongs and smile often but also repeat errors more often than we think. It also takes us away from real sustainable development in every sense of the term.

    If you have time, download the Kindle version of Humboldt’s Voyage in Venezuela. It is revealing. You might skip the long descriptions of flora and geology, but the social and political descriptions of 200 years before will amaze you if you haven’t read it yet.

    If you can (and the slowest Internet connection of South America doesn’t put you down), take a couple of pictures of less known villages or mountains or rivers and donate them to the Commons Wikimedia project (I am trying to motivate people in Venezuela to produce proper Wikipedia articles of every tiny spot outside big cities, it’s hard because people just love to do selfies). Takk!

    Pásala súper chévere.

  91. marioly1819 says:

    Love this blog!! it is so positive!!!!

  92. Katrin says:

    Hey…i just read 2of ur articles and loved them! I’m a venezuelan from Caracas linving in Germany since 12 years but still love my country like crazy and always looking to new posibilities to come back…actually to Isla Margarita. Though all people over there tell me i’m crazy if i try to come back…lol anyway it’s really funyy to read what u re writing and feel somehow part of that.

    I will follow you 🙂

  93. It’s funny a lot. I am from Mérida and somethings that you explain so normal for Venezuela people is not the correct way of be. I think that some things that you mention are really natural in Venezuela but are just a litle irresponsible and because of that my country does not progress.

  94. Jose Manuel says:

    Hello there Martina!!
    I’ve read each of your posts, they’re great and I hope you keep writing more. Even more important I do hope you have a blast avery single day in Venezuela, thanks for open ur heart and be safe.
    3 months have already passed. 5 more to go.. so if you’d like to come to Valencia, you can always give me a call. A few years ago I welcome at home to a Hungarian girl who came here through AIESEC, your same organization. She went throught all of the things u have already mentioned.

    To add/modify onn your list:

    Not only you must go to a baseball game, but to a Caracas-Magallanes game!!!! As a Magallanero I can tell you, there’s no comparison to anything else. (There’s Cardenales in Barquisimeto.. but they are no big thing)

    Eat at least once every other weekend in La Calle del Hambre. Add to empanadas, burgers, hot dogs, pepitos, or everything else as much salsas as you can (de queso, maiz, bbq, tartara, etcc)

    Venezuelans are known because everyone has a cell phone even the domestic help, bus drivers, etc (most of the time blackberrys, samsung or iphone). Brand is important, only God knows why

    Develop an unhealthy love for tequeños, frescolita, pirulin..

  95. Carina says:

    Hola Martine!

    It is a enjoyment to read your blog! I can not help laughing all the time. You are able to express, how it is to live in Venezuela as a foreigner in a true (and funny) way. I am from Denmark and right now live in Venezuela to volonteer here. I would love to meet you some time here en Venezuela, so if you have time, write me!

    Three things I would like to mention, to become a Venezuelan:
    – Paint your nails and wear make-up at all time you leave your house (or even your room).
    – Always be clean and smell good, bath at least one time a day (if possible two or three times), and remember the deodorent, body lotion and the parfume (which you also bring with you, when you go out).
    – Say “Buenas” (and pronunce the “s” like when you are cleaning your glasses) when you enter the bus, and talk with the people if something (or nothing) happens.

    Espero te pasará ecxelente aqui en Venezuela!

    // Carina

  96. Luis Miguel Alvarenga says:

    Hi!, nice to meet you. I’m Luis Miguel Alvarenga, I’m venezuelan too. I have many people interested in reading you, so I thought would be good to translate exactly what you write for non-english speakers. I’m almost a journalist and I can do it, but I need you to allow me. I promise I’ll keep what you said as strickly as I can. Just in case of spanish ways of talikng that I would change some expresion, that’s just for better understanding for us. Please, answer me, your words are interesting for non-english speakers.

  97. David Matheus says:

    Listen to the song called “Venezuela” and sing it ‘a todo pulmón’ (literally, with all your lungs) and with all your soul on it

    Take a Venezuelan flag to every event that might be televised, specially on international ones, I dare you to not find one in an important football match or something

    Eat hallacas on christmas (and the rest of the year if you suddenly find some in the freezer, doesn’t matter how old they might be)

    If you find out the friend of your friend’s friend is throwing a party, just go, they won’t care, the party was probably improvised anyways

    Improvise a party, just tell some friends to bring stuff or money and you will soon have a lot of people at your place

    The ones that get late to the parties will be called to bring the ice and they shall be praised at their arrival

    After the party go to eat, arepas would be the best choice, but hot dogs, pizza or whatever you want should serve

    Cachapas, you should also eat cachapas

    Eat like there was not tomorrow, best if goes with drinking

  98. Edgar says:

    Hi Martine:
    Definitely, I will become your fan. I am one of your readers who cannot stop laughing when I read your blog. I am a Venezuelan in the United States and know very well how you feel living in a new country. In addition, I was in Norway some years ago and you are really very culturally different. Thank you a lot for your writings. You are so sincere and accurate. I hope you keep enjoying and learning a lot from Venezuelan. I am sure that many people (me first) will learn many things from you. God bless you!

  99. Arttu Amaro says:

    I think you could add:

    Go to the Bunker del Este (And complain about it) haha [Only for Barquisimetans]
    Complain about corrupt cops, but always carry emergency cash to exit via bribe
    Take a bus that is overcrowded
    Drink in a corner or in the sidewalk of any street
    Play Chapita!!! 😀 😀 (ask me about it)
    Eat everything fried
    Worry about making ends meet, buy beer to worry about it
    Greet with a kiss, even if you don’t like that person
    Greet with a kiss, and a hug, if thats a person that you really like
    Say “Ladilla” at least 30 times a day
    Play the “Cuatro” instrument (90% of people does)

    And many more 🙂 we’re really strange people, but we’re glad we’re like that! Can’t imagine being an uptight yupi or a silent shy and serious tomb.

  100. Saludos cordiales. Este post está muy bueno. Me has hecho reír bastante, a carcajadas. Como decimos aquí, “me cagué de la risa” leyendo el post. Gracias por tus amables impresiones sobre nuestro sabroso desorden.

  101. Never forget to say “mañana” (tomorrow) everytime you don´t have the work done for the time it is needed, or you forgot your appointment, or you don´t know what to say when you are asked to do something, etc, etc. Just say “mañana” and we will see what happen tomorrow…

  102. German A. says:

    About point 18… there are a lot of “jergas” here, “na’guaraaa, va sieeee, sieee caráj, a mundoooo!” are from LARA, so i think you are in Barquisimeto or something? If you want to speak “Caraqueño” use “Coño” for everything hahahaha

    Kisses Martina, i dont know you, but believe me when i say i love you so much… You are incredible!

  103. claudia f says:

    Hi! i was so happy when my friends send me this . im Venezuelan (studying in miami). There is a venezuelan “tradition” that my portuguese dad who had nightclubs during the 80’s and 90’s taught me, and that is the way we (venezuelans) drink whiskey :

    -first of all be prepare to drink good whiskey
    -Second have a tall glass
    -ice
    -WISKEY
    -water

    and the best part , stir it with your index finger. Hahah I know it sounds normal , but I’ve been traveling around the world and there is nowhere like home to order a drink of whiskey.

  104. Carlos P says:

    I totally agree with all the comments, however, as a Venezuelan I really dislike the fact “Make everything about politics” especially for a Venezuelan who lives in Florida.

    I’m fed up of the negative comments coming from Venezuelans living abroad, they are really really annoying.

    Unfortunately, I really can’t say the same positive things about the Venezuelans living abroad, especially in Florida.

    I’m very glad you as a foreigner visiting my beloved country have had a different perspective and kudos to you for sharing your experiences.

    Best regards,
    Carlos

  105. Crisol says:

    Está lkegando a mis ojos por primera vez y lo amo ! Al igual que tú soy docente y estar von niños yafolescentes venezolanos, te permite mantener una visión optimista de nosotros mismos, de nuestra capacidad para ser felices a pesar de…. Y de ver en estos chamos reflejado quienes somos y seremos. Alegres, fiesteros, amigueros…. pero esta nueva generación es crítica y desea cambios…. donde hay fe y fortaleza hay capacidad para hacer nuestros sueños realidad. Sigue escribiendonos y nutriendonos de tus experiencias y nosotros de las nuestras. Nada más refrescante que una buena dosis de positivismo. GRACIAS.

  106. Maria Massimini says:

    Hello, I find your posts very well written. But I have a hard time not finding them a little bit offensives. I know I need to chill out a bit. But most venezuelans need to stress out a lot, because this extremely easy going society is the principal cause of our social crisis. So it’s a negative side too. We need to learn how to be responsible citizen to become happy individuals, and not pretend to be. No mother can be happy knowing that she won’t be able to buy milk for her children, that every time his teen go out might not come back and if any member of the family get sick or injured the hospital are a disaster, you can find medicine and if you find then they’re too expensive. We’re a society in denaey, and that is a very bad.

  107. Héctor Dunn says:

    Glad to continue reading your posts about Venezuela. My opinion: 18) Only “chévere” is common thoughout Venezuela, na’guará and sieee are specific idioms from the region where you are living; as well as 21) about sugar is possibly a local preference. AND 20) is a pitty and a shame to get aware our children think such an attitude is ok and describes us as Venezuelans… many of us don’t agree with that behaviour and we are struggling to change it, because showing respect for others is a must to be fostered in our culture. By the way, I am from Puerto Ordaz, Guayana, even though our services here work kind of slowly, we are ussually on time to our appointments. See you.

  108. Oriana Cartaya says:

    This is great, have you been at Big Burger en Barquisimeto? bc you should

  109. Hi! I really enjoyed all your post. You should add to your greetings the word: EPALE! It is like Hi! And you should try (but I believe that you already did) all our candies, that we call it here as a chucherías, are the best! If you want to be a really venezuelan you should eat a lot of chucherías: cocosete, samba, susy, nucita, pirulín, pepitos, toronto, etc! I hope you are enjoying our country! Don’t forget to visit Maracay, in Aragua!! Bye!!

  110. Celioski says:

    You’re just lovely. You actually get us x3

    Thank you for your posts, they are uplifting.

  111. Caraquena de Pura Cepa (in Miami) says:

    Learn and use all the untranslatable ‘refranes’ (sayings): Cachicamo diciendole a Morrocoy, conchudo; Perro que come zamuro no vomita gavilan; Aunque la Mona se vista de seda, Mona se queda…

  112. marco rivera says:

    Let me tell you that I’m so impressed of the way you have described us. I’m Venezuelan living in Canada since 2010. My family and I came here looking for a better future. I miss my country, my friends and my family but I certainly don’t miss some of our characteristics you perfectly mention in your blog.

    Reading your blog made me so happy! I remembered when I was there enjoying the company of my family and friends. Yes, we got some tears coming out of our eyes and we laughed as crazy while reading how perfectly you describe us.

    Thank you for focusing in the positive side of Venezuelans, we have kind and good people, we could be better if we wanted.

    If you come to Toronto someday, here we are with a small part of our beautiful and warm country in the middle of the cold canadian weather.

  113. MaryVen says:

    I cry reading you…and after I’m done i go back and read you again!(and send it to all my foreign friends!) I miss Venezuela so badly and when I read you I remember that despite all the bad things we are awesome! That’s without saying how beautiful Venezuela is!!
    Have you been to Maracaibo? If you haven’t you have to! It’s the best city in the world!
    Thank you for best description ever of the Venezuelans! 

  114. Pichuquita says:

    Get acrylic fingernails and a breast augmentation, never miss an appointment with your hairdresser and treat everybody like you know them since ever, even if you just met them.

  115. r4i ds says:

    Its ѕuch as you learn my mind! You appar to know a lot about thіs,
    suсh as you wrotе the e book in it or somеthing.
    I think that you just could do ωith some p.c. to prеssure
    the message ome a bit, but other than that, this iѕ wonderful
    blog. A fantаstic read. I will ԁefinitеly
    be back.

  116. Paola Martino says:

    Hi there! Eventhough Venezuela is going through a real crisis in all it´s aspects, the venezuelan spiritit and humor prevails. Here goes another one “pull out a joke of almost everything, even in the most serious and critical situations”.

    regards!

  117. Daniela Skroce says:

    Again, thanks a lot. I do thing the list is pretty short, but I can’t even think of anything else…

  118. bueno el comentario, algunas dan pena o tristeza pero la verdad a veces no nos gusta! Yo agrego que al venezolano le gusta tomar agua, refrescos, jugos y batidos con hielo….cosa que no ocurre en otros países, que toman todo natural…. los tragos como la Cuba Libre…Ron/Coca Cola/Limón y Amargo de Angostura……..con mucho hielo cuchareado………………!!!!!! es decir golpeado con una cuchara……………………………

  119. Daniela Socorro says:

    Great and fun way to become Venezuelan! Really impressed, Im taking some ideas and your list is really helpful for those “coming to town”.
    I would add:
    1) go to a disco or bar until they close and then go to an arepera or puesto de perrocalientes for an extra dinner.
    2) ask for your last drink in every party to go during the road (un whisky caminero).
    3) when invited to a bday party ask for cake to go (“torta pa’ pola”…pa’ por la mañana).
    Un abrazo mollejuo from Maracaibo!
    Dani

  120. You also have to eat “hallaca” to breakfast, lunch and dinner all December until more or less January 15th.

  121. Javelyn says:

    And now our girls Sophia and Isabella get to enjoy being half Venezuelans even though they have never been able to see my native land!!! Someday we will go back to mi Tierra to show them Mami’s roots live! For now, they learned to make arepas at 2 years of age, they’ve been eating arepas since 1.5 years old, they dance merengue, salsa, flamenco, ballet, tap, sing, laugh and dance like no one is watching and like there’s no tomorrow, and they speak Spanglish!!! They adapt to the Venezuelan side and the Ohioan side in a blink of an eye and I think it is because both sides are amazing and very willing to bring the best of their roots to make it for an even richer family experience! Buckeyes, Brazil futbol, salsa, country dance, sausage and gravy, arepas, sour kraut and lentejas for new year’s luck, turkey and hallacas, platains and French fries, and sometimes made up stuff like blankita which is a little blanket – they just decided to add the “ita” to make it sound Spanish. At the end, it isn’t a word, it is a culture. Cobijita would be the right word, but blankita is an awesome blend!!! And by the way, arepas with jelly is a hit at the Arvays home and I know that would never happen in Venezuela where cheese is what resonates with arepas!!! Gotta love cultures!!! Love this post!!!!!!!!!

  122. Isabella says:

    As a current citizen of Venezuela, living the every day craziness, this is definitely a breath of fresh air. It’s hard to take a step back and see the beautiful things our culture has to offer, and you definitely have done that for many of us. Thank you for brining a smile to our face and to many of the venezuelans who are currently out of the country, bringing back memories and their feeling of “belonging”. You have figured us out as our essence, with no hatred attached, so thank you. Keep writing authentically, do not pay attention to those who do not agree on your views from experience, keep the positive going… We need more of that. If you’re ever on your way to Caracas let me know, as a sister-in-law to a “gringo” I’ve done the tourist job many times before and would not mind doing again for someone who will appreciate it so much. Just reply if you’re interested! Hope you keep enjoying your time in Venezuela and dooooon’t stop posting!!

  123. Andrea D says:

    Martine! Add more pictures! Loved reading your posts (as a Venezuelan) but wish I would have known more about the narrator! Are you a girl? Are you young? Haha
    Very amusing though, glad you like my country! It’s now yours too!

  124. Tina says:

    But, i dont enjoy really loud music everywhere or oversharing, and am shy. Although, I love food xD and I make everything about politics (we’re sometimes really annoying people because of this!), is like: we are not able to talk about anything else??! But we can’t help it…

  125. Gustavo Ferrero Gómez says:

    Well, I have a cousin who keeps saying that Venezuela is the only country in the world where somebody treats you to a drink anyday or everyday, So my recommendation is: Treat someone to drinks once in a while and you’ll be amazed of how that keeps surprisingly bouncing back !!!

  126. ninasalasc says:

    Awee ! You made me smile with this post 🙂 ! And I loved when I read “sieee” toda una guara, no ? HAHAHAHA<3 Stay safe 😀 ! Blesses !

  127. Suzan Machado says:

    As an American living for 22 years in Caracas, my suggestion is learn all the curse words!!!

  128. José says:

    You have to know that the arrive time in Venezuela is always once hour later. Ex: they said 9 pm you must arrive at 10 pm or later. XD

  129. i loved it 😀 you can add that we ALWAYS say “de pana” instead of you’re right and that’s true 😀

  130. Karolayn says:

    Don’t only learn barquisimetan expressions! Everyone knows how people from Caracas speak lol also you should try and go to every sambil there is! Since the year is just starting you should eat some hallacas too hahaha good luck! I hope you can become as Venezuelan as us xD

  131. 100% Venezuelan says:

    Hey Girl, I’ve had a blast reading your blog. You seem very intuitive and I must say you’re already on the right path to become venezuelan as you have chosen to stay positive and be happy (#25 and 30 on your list – which for me are top of the list, always!). This is a chaotic country and we are chaotic people but there is no need to dwell on it or we’d go crazy! Venezuela is a beautiful place, enjoy your stay here, be safe and take as much positive things as you can from our people, for there are many 😉
    Hugs & Kisses, haha

  132. Rosemary says:

    Love it! I will add:
    Call your friends marico or marica when talking to them.
    A Venezuelan in Kansas.

    P.S. be a good dancer 😀

  133. TERRY says:

    ERES VENEZOLAN@ SI VAS A SALIR DE CASA O REGRESAS Y PIDES LA BENDICION A CADA MOMENTO..!!!

  134. Monica says:

    Thank you very much for doing this post. It has been fun and entertaining. I specially thank you for focusing on the good parts and positive aspects. Don’t get too serious as you said before, that’s newspapers job!
    I will be looking forward your next post.
    Kind regards
    Monica

  135. Simon says:

    A few to add to your list…

    Point at thing or people with your lips…

    Answer the phone by saying: ‘Aaa- low’

    Know that Mieeer-co-les is more than just another day of the week…

    Know what ‘the second’ means (la segunda)

    Ride a bus with twice the limit of recommended people onboard

    Fly in an airplane with chickens in the luggage compartment (flight from margarita to cumana)

    For goodness sake, if you go there and decide to go into the cachapa business and you are a woman… Don’t tell people your profession 😉

  136. Luis amaro says:

    Saying “sieeee” is only said in one city, and it’s awesome because it works for so many situations! great entry right here

  137. Escribiré en español porque no se mucho ingles, me alegra saber que estés interesada en ser venezolano…A pesar de las adversidades que nos ahogan el día a día tenemos una sonrisa, y buena vibra para afrontarlo y disminuir el estrés, sin embargo creo que te falto algo, el comer de éste país es en exceso las mujeres vivimos en una so-sobra para hacer dietas aun así no dejamos de comer arepas con lo que sea, por cierto debes comer la arepa reina pepiada, y dominó, e inventarte algo por que celebrar el fin de semana y la caja de cervezas con parrilla… Un abrazo cálido desde éste humilde país que solo pide libertad de éste gobierno, paz, y seguridad.
    Marian Berrios. Una estudiante.

  138. Thank you! I really enjoyed that! It’s all soooo true, mainly your intro. I appreciate that. Why are you so in love with us? ❤ 😉

  139. Tjaracas says:

    I just like positive people. Not everybody has a change to just go and live in another country. I am dutch and lived for 20 years in Venezuela. Unfortunately we had to leave this beautiful country but 1 day ” I will be back” and might even change my nationality. Venezuela is just fantastic!

  140. i recomend you this blog, very similar to yours, http://susuquin.blogspot.com/
    is froma friend, from Venezuela, living in Paris, your might find it hilarious looking through the antagonic part of your story

  141. ignacio says:

    You have to add this one “you should have at least one friend who’s nickname is “el negro” to be a real Venezuelan hahaha.

  142. I only spent two weeks in Venezuela, solely in the capital of Caracas. Its a shame only a few people pass through as the people there are so warm and the Country has so much to offer. I was there for the FIBA Americas basketball tournament, I was hoping it was going to invite more tourism but hopefully its the start of better things. People are so accommodating, as I was told its in their nature to help because they all need each other’s support.

    As a Venezuelan said to me “It’s an adventure isn’t it?… And we’re all on it”. Its a good, positive spirit to have. You hope for a better future but you also do your best to enjoy the moments you have.

  143. Chef says:

    Thanks for making me remember so many things.
    Actually I never will stop be Venezuelan,

    I hope you get to feel the sand on turtle and margarita under your feet while you eat a pie
    Travel the country you will see that despite all the problems Venezuelans we continue to open our hearts to strangers

    Greetings from a Venezuelan in Mexico

  144. gio says:

    Oh honey… Don’t be bothered by people who has absolutely no sense of humour and can’t laugh at themselves.
    I laughed my ass off with this post.
    we’re like that, whether we embrace it or not. That’s our culture, the good things and the bad ones.
    Greetings from Caracas.

    • Elisabeth says:

      I am an Norwegian living in Caracas too, and I must admit, I am not as positive as you Martine. But after reading your list, I think I will change and try to be more positive! 🙂
      I have only been here for 5 months, but still I can recognize the things on your list. Now I know why there is load music and fireworks every night 🙂
      It’s true,all the Venezuelan people I have met are very nice, but I don’t speak Spanish and nobody here speaks English, so that is a little difficult!
      Maybe that should be on your list, nobody speak English even thou they learn it in school 🙂
      But that gives me a bigger reason to learn Spanish, so thats good right?

      • Luis Kaladze says:

        Well Elisabeth you are right about something, the quantity of Venezuelans that are fluent in english is too low, i’m a Venezuelan living in Caracas, i’m fluent in english and some of my friends are, actually i was used to teach english here hahaha. If u need help with your spanish i’m glad to help 🙂

      • R2 says:

        Tata chancero

      • gio says:

        There’s a lot of Venezuelans here that speak fluent english that could give you a hand, myself included. Send me a message whenever you like
        Gio.

  145. Vanessa says:

    Hahahah,

    This post is fu-nnnnneyyyy! (Funny) here are some other things that sell me out as a Venezuelan (raised outside and living in the Middle East):
    1- Do a little dance when I find Venezuelan items at the grocery shop (e.g. Harina pan, Malta, queso bueno, etc)
    2- always have a “wiskisito” (scotch) readily available to unwind at the end of the day, and please DO STIR it with your finger!
    3- Tequenos must be your breakfast of preference, and lots of salsa que sepa a la de “chops”- si eres de Maracaibo, you know what I’m talking about.
    4- know how to verbalized words like: “PEO” “VERGA” “ARRECHO”
    5- Being offered some “coñazos” at some point of our lives!
    6- you have to ALWAYS “be on a diet” –if you are female
    7- and last but never the least, “primero muerta que sencilla”

  146. carrascore says:

    – Play Domino
    – Drink whisky with coconut water
    – Get drunk with Anis and NEVER EVER AGAIN
    – Be a fan of a Baseball Team (Arriba el Cardenales)
    – Make jokes of the other teams
    – Be a “cuaima” (ask to your friends in Venezuela)

  147. sasha says:

    Havent read the comments, but it’s nice to see someone that still has high hopes and a good opinion about this country at least. Its really sad what an amazing country is turning into, and its even more sad that we venezuelans do nothing about it.

    On that list, I think you missed the cursing a lot, or the great use of bad words. And also the double meaning on every single thing you say 😉

    Enjoy ur time here, and try to visit MARACAIBO, here you have a guide 😉

  148. Canucklehead says:

    Guys: wear a large watch, don’t wear shirts that have not been ironed, when visiting airports, wear a suit jacket, don’t share your depressing alt music- nobody is interested, and eat what they are giving you with gusto for god’s sake, even if it is rodent. The rodent is actually pretty good.

  149. Nathu says:

    Im a Venezuelan livin’ in Chicago. Im so impressed about your thoughts about Venezuela. I laugh and almost cried reading this. Thanks!

  150. Luis Manuel says:

    Best post ever… Yes, we are like this!! And I don’t wanna change. I’m living in Stockholm, Sweden. It’s almost the same as Norway. And you makes me feel more comfortable and proud to be SO Venezuelan. Hahaha! My bf always ask me, why you’re always late? And I tell him, I’m so sorry snygging, I was trying to look so nice for you. And he always forget my 30 minutes late hehe.
    Más Venezolano que la arena más Barquisimetano que los pepitos.
    LLuisM

  151. Maribel Ricupero Nilsson says:

    Love your blog Martine 😍 soooo true!

  152. andrea herrera says:

    OOOOOH MY GOD!!! This is such a good blog, I am outside of Venezuela and have been absolutely blue for my people and my country lately. Reading this is just a breathe of fresh air.

    I love the way you describe it! Is like you took my own thoughts and posted them as yours in a very entertaining way.

    Please keep on posting 🙂

  153. AbgMVB says:

    As a venezuelan you have to had experienced the typical school breakfast made by our mums in less than 10mins: “grilled cheese sandwich covered with the napking that got all moist cos of the steem of the sandwich wraped while still hot”… Sanguche con la servilleta pegada…. :’) …. The country is a mess right now but it’s our home and will always be…a beautiful mess… Thank you for sharing your thoughts about Venezuela with the world!

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